


In Which Tauriel Is Drunk

by Lady_Juno



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Drunk elf, F/M, It was a good idea at the time, Jealous Legolas, Kissing Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:45:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1696964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Juno/pseuds/Lady_Juno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To be honest, this was a one-shot, "my brain doesn't work right now" thing between me and Loki. She insists, however, that this is "pretty much the best thing ever" and that I should post it.<br/>Here you are, folks. Drunk!Tauriel. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Tauriel Is Drunk

Tauriel blinked hard, trying to focus on the bottle in her hand. She'd given up attempting to pour anything into a glass a while back. Failing at that, she let her head fall back into Kili's lap and laughed helplessly. "Spinnin'," she mumbled. "Everything's... you know, I... I been drunk 'afore."

Kili was visibly impressed as he gazed down at the gorgeously drunk elf. "Can't recall ever seeing anyone- 'specially a woman- put away that much all at once. I'd be dead on the floor." He pulled a trailing hair out of her face, leaning down to give her a quick peck on the forehead. In her state, he didn't think she'd mind.

She didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, with a low chuckle, she grabbed a handful of his dark hair and pulled him down for a real kiss. It lasted only a moment before she released him.

"Takes lots n' lots ta... make fings spin." Tauriel giggled throatily and tried to sit up. She succeeded, but only barely, swaying heavily.

Kili decided he liked this new drunk Tauriel. She was a lot more affectionate than the sober one. The kiss, brief as it was, lingered on his lips long after it was over, tasting of mead and dorwinion and all the various drinks he'd plied her with in order to get her this drunk.

"Hey, hey, don't try to get up," he said, laughing and pulling her back down. "You'll fall, and then I'll feel guilty."

The elf fell into his lap with a grin, still clutching the mostly empty bottle in one hand. The smile, however, faded slowly as she looked up at him with surprisingly bright green eyes. "You saved my life," she said, in a quieter tone, less influenced by the slurring effects of the drink. "Never gonna be able ta pay you back, ya know. We're bound, you n' me. Ain't never... never gonna git rid of me. Stuck, that's whatcha are." The grin was blossoming across her face again. "Stuckili." She started laughing once more, and pressed her face into his stomach to smother the noise.

Kili chuckled in return, her stifled laughter tickling into his belly. "As if I'd wanna get rid of you." He jostled her shoulder gently, leaning down to kiss her delicately pointed ear since most of her face was currently pressed against him. "We really oughtta do this more often," he whispered into her ear. "You're really cute like this." He grinned, kissing her again.

"Noooooo." Tauriel batted at his nose with her free hand as she tried to protect her ear. When she lifted her face to look at him, it seemed like she was trying to pout and grin at the same time. "Not cute. Not been cute fer... fer longer 'n you've been alive." She pressed her forehead to his chest and tried to tip him over with a shove, laughing again. "You're th' cute one."

"Tauriel?" Legolas had just stepped into the room, holding a broken arrow in one hand. The prince looked mortified by the sight of the red-haired elleth in such an undignified state. Kili jumped, startled. He caught sight of Legolas out of the corner of his eye, and an embarrassed grin twitched across his face. He coughed into a fist.

"Oh. Leggy. Weren't expecting you back for a while. I, uh..." He tried to help Tauriel sit up, but it seemed rather a lost cause. "Uh, she was- she had a bit too much." He nodded at his astuteness, glancing back at Tauriel apologetically. He really did feel a bit guilty. When he'd succeeded in propping her swaying form against his shoulder, he looked back at Legolas again. The blond hadn't moved, the broken arrow still poised in his hand as though he'd forgotten about it.

"Sorry," Kili said, trying not to grin.

Tauriel leaned against Kili, laughing so hard she was in serious danger of falling over again. "Leggy," she gasped, seeming to find this word endlessly amusing. "I thought on'y yer dad called ya that."

"Shut up," snapped the prince, turning pink.

"You're not my prince no more," Tauriel retorted in a cheerful, sing-songy tone. "You can't tell me what t' do."

Legolas couldn't have looked more appalled if Tauriel had just uttered a dirty word. Advancing on the pair, he turned his furious (and very embarrassed) gaze on Kili. "What in the name of Arda were you thinking?!"

Kili snorted. "I... wasn't?" He snatched the half empty bottle from Tauriel, took a swig, and proffered it to Legolas. "Here. If only one person's drinking, it's awkward. Two or more... it's a party." He hiccuped, swaying a little.

While Legolas stood stiffly and looked insulted, another blond figure entered, pouting ridiculously. "What? You're having a party without me?" Fili snatched the bottle from his brother and took a swig. Tauriel sprawled to one side and put her legs in Kili's lap, grinning up at Legolas.

Kili flapped a hand at his brother, ignoring the uptight elf. "We're just getting started. You haven't missed much." He grinned when Fili glanced ironically at the pile of empty bottles in the corner. "Yeah, we, uh... we're running low on booze."

Fili's eyes grew to the size of saucers. "Wait. You two... why aren't you dead?"

"Don'chu think he's cute?" Tauriel asked blandly, chuckling. "I do."

Legolas looked like he might be sick. "Tauriel, this does not befit one of the Elder Race. You're being... ridiculous."

Tauriel's smile started to fade. "I just... I thaw' it would be fun..." Her large green eyes, so full of laughter a moment before, started to fill with confusion. "Legolas... I jus'... wan'ed t'be happy."

Legolas's face softened a little. He of all people was not immune to the adorable sincerity in her eyes. "Well, I..." He sighed. "It's just not... I didn't mean-"

Kili had just finished making a face at his brother, and turned to grin up at the blond. "See what you've done, Leggy? Killjoy." He started to tickle Tauriel's toes, which were still in his lap. "Can't you see it's good for her to relax a bit? Speaking of which..." He snatched the bottle away from Fili and pushed it into Legolas's hands.

Tauriel let out a squeal of laughter, jerking her feet out of Kili's reach and rolling off the couch with a dull thump. She sat up, swaying and giggling. "That wasn't fair," she accused, wrinkling her nose at him and still grinning. "Wait 'til I git yew back!" She started fiddling with his boots, muttering in slurred Elvish and occasionally chuckling.

Legolas held the bottle gingerly, as though it were a cursed thing. It was nice that Tauriel was relaxed, but... "Not appropriate for a prince of Mirkwood," he mumbled, the words tasting foul in his mouth. Even when his father wasn't present, his words hung in the air like weights. To rid himself of the dirting feeling the words had left on his tongue, the elf drained what remained of the wine in the bottle.

"I'll get some more," he said shortly, tossing the empty bottle into the already formidable pile against the wall.

As Legolas disappeared, Fili sat down beside his brother and looked at Tauriel with a grin. "How much did she drink, anyway?"

Kili shrugged, nodding at the pile. "I dunno. Probably most of those. I only had a little, just to keep her company." At his brother's unspoken question, he looked a bit guilty. "I... dared her. I wanted to see if it was even possible. Her getting... drunk. After the third or fourth bottle, I'll admit I was beginning to wonder, but... well...." He grinned at the elf, kissing her hand. "Sorry, Tauri." He blinked a moment, then grinned. "You know what? Actually, I'm _not_."

Tauriel, who had been distracted from trying to get Kili's boots off by their talk, grinned at them. "Could give ya a list," she said gesturing at the bottles, "but I fink this is more fun." And without warning, she reached up, grabbed the front of Fili's tunic, and dragged him down to her level, quite as though she were going to kiss him. The elf stopped when he was sitting on the floor, their noses barely an inch apart. She was grinning wickedly, eyes twinkling.

"Should I?" she asked Kili, chuckling as Fili's complexion darkened considerably, from faintly pink to deep red.

Kili grinned. "Sure. Why not?" He was enjoying Fili's reaction quite a bit more than he probably should have been. Tauriel kissed the blushing dwarf with apparent relish, and this one lasted much longer than Kili's. In fact, when she released the blond, he looked quite ready to pass out. Tauriel seemed very pleased with herself as Fili scrambled unsteadily away from her, and shot a smug look at Kili.

"Top that," she challenged.

"Valar save us," breathed Legolas, who looked very, very white under his blond hair. When he’d come back was anyone’s guess, but there he was in the doorway again.

Tauriel whipped around to grin at him, nearly flooring herself in the process. "You're next. Right af'er I prove ta Kili he's still cutest."

Legolas blanched, turning pink now. He was holding a small crate that clinked gently as he set it down. There was an assortment of alcoholic beverages within, of which he selected one at random and yanked the cork free. The elf downed the contents (ale, as it happened) with all speed, and tossed the empty bottle aside, muttering something that sounded like "not drunk enough to deal with this."

Kili, who had become sufficiently jealous over the duration of the kiss, didn't need much prompting. Completely disregarding the flabbergasted Legolas, the dwarf moved to the spot his brother had occupied a moment before, leaning forward to within kissing distance of the mischievous, red-haired elf. "I think I can do better'n Fili. That was five or six seconds, tops." Actually, it was 9, but he wasn't about to admit he'd been keeping a very accurate count.

Tauriel's laugh dropped lower into her throat, becoming strangely dulcet as she brushed her nose against Kili's. "You sure ya c'n handle it?" she breathed.

Legolas was beet red now and reaching for another bottle, intentionally targeting the dorwinion. By the time he'd pulled the cork free, Tauriel was mid-kiss, and the pair were slowly tipping over so that the elleth was almost laying on top of her dwarf. Fili took a seat beside Legolas and helped himself to a drink.

"What say you we never speak of this again?" Fili glanced at the elf, who nodded firmly, and attempted to drown himself in elven wine.


End file.
